I’ve missed a couple of weeks of sharing my twitter gems… I really need to get this whole “prep the night before” routine down, lol. I’m gonna go through and post some of my favorite of the favorites. (I’ll try not to overdo it.) And hopefully I’ll actually get these things posted on time from now on, lol. Cross your fingers for me… and enjoy 🙂
2/14/12 – @amp1976 Wow…last week I splurged on a skin-care system to “reverse the signs of aging,” & today I bought insurance. What fun adulthood is. :-p
@Slashleen The only way I could love Adele any more is if she stuffed her Grammys in a pillow case and beat the shit out of Chris Brown. #grammys
@mcourcel Blind people must have a sixth sense. yeah, it’s called avoid people who think we have a sixth sense, since we don’t even have 5 of them.
2/7/12 – @dinajames Look, writers hear voices in our heads and we listen to them. We lie to people for a living. WE ARE CRAZY. Just, you know, the nice kind.
2/7/12 – @jsmithready Waahh, don’t WANNA write last scene ever in WVMP series! *throws tantrum, then offers self pie as reward* Okay, I’ll do it.
2/6/12 – @ImLeslieChow Unicorns can’t fly. I can’t fly. Therefore, I am a unicorn.
2/6/12 – @LadyHawkins
@JacksonPearce YES. Sometimes you have to be like, “Look, characters, I love y’all, but REMEMBER WHO YOU WORK FOR, B*TCHES.”
2/6/12 – @Ruth_A_Buzzi Most parents have at least one child that’s especially gifted, and at least one they wish could be re-gifted.
2/5/12 – @ObviouslyBen #SuperbowlSunday: the 1 day a year millions of American guys willingly gather to watch muscular dudes in tights grab at each other’s balls.
2/4/12 – @donnajherren I spent the first hour of the day walking around without my glasses. I’m legally blind without them, so I was curious if I could function. I couldn’t. When the zombies come & smash my glasses, I’m going to die. *sigh*
2/4/12 – @jnoe “I am wearing a cowboy hat with goggles! Let’s play quidditch.”
2/2/12 – @amymaclane My daughter saw her Science teacher tending bar for $$$ and was embarrassed. I told her to be embarrassed for her country, not her teacher.
2/2/12 – @moirarogersbree Me filling out the blurb part: There’s this couple and she’s all AAAAAH and he’s all GRRRR and then everyone else is all >:( and then LOVE!
2/1/12 – @Mercys_Garage Mercy Seven now has a title: Frost Burned
2/1/12 – @kelseydickson “I know why voldemort is bald now. It’s so people can’t use his hair for polyjuice potion”
1/30/12 – @TaherehMafi sometimes i whistle when i’m driving. and.. i’m only now realizing it must look like i’m making kissy faces at oncoming traffic.
1/29/12 – @LAGilman you know you’ve hit a deadline when: you look up & say “dear dog, I need to scrub this place down. And do laundry. And find the cat.”
1/26/12 – @MelvinofYork Hard to believe I once had a phone ATTACHED TO A WALL. When it rang I’d pick it up WITHOUT KNOWING WHO WAS CALLING. Amazing I’m still alive.
1/26/12 – @amymaclane Autocorrect is a mother-grabbing whore-chasing pus-sucking fucktard, and I want to kick it in the electronic yards.
** accidentally deleted follow up tweet… “nards… dammit… nards!” **
1/26/12 – @SpazP “
@meganf: Why is it not Friday? Rhetorical question (hey, “Rhetorical” could be the eggheaded Black Dagger Brother!)” giggle giggle giggle
1/26/12 – @maureenjohnson Some of you, the more PEDANTIC, are pointing out that it is Thursday. I maintain it is merely Wednesday 2: Revenge of the Wednesday.
1/25/12 – @StephenAtHome It’s the Chinese Year of the Dragon. Or it could just be a bootleg lizard with horns glued on.
1/25/12 – @mackenziewalton I love when people say something’s a dark interpretation of Snow White. The queen thinks she eats a kid’s heart. Darker than that?
1/25/12 – @TheRecipeBox Starbucks will add beer and wine to menu at select coffee shops http://ow.ly/8GD6q
Ok… I think that’ll do us for this time. I hope you found something interesting in all of that… or that you giggled at something. Until next week… Happy Tweeting 🙂